I’m tired, anxious and sick of the general human population; it must be Christmas.

Quite honestly, I’m not a fan of this season for many reasons and I’d happily let it go by unnoticed if it weren’t for two things; Christmas lights and Christmas food.

I believe in preparing to feed hundreds full well knowing I only ever want to feed two, so this recipe is a godsend for the few of you that actually want to feed more than just your multiple personalities. To experience the holy ratios of crisp to chew and sweet to spice, read on.

Ho ho ho you beautiful plonkers.

What you need:

• 170g softened butter
• 200g sugar
• 85g molasses (or black treacle)
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 heaped tsp cinnamon
• 2 heaped tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 of a nutmeg, grated (or 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg)
• pinch of salt
• 270g all purpose/plain flour
• extra sugar for rolling (I use vanilla sugar).

What to do:

Heads up, you’re about to make thirty cookies.

Preheat the oven to 350F and line a baking sheet with parchment.

In a large bowl (or the bowl of a mixer for you lazy mofos out there) cream the butter with the sugar, then add your molasses and egg, mixing to combine. At this point, throw in your baking soda and salt (the farthest throw wins) and then add the spices.

Warning! While we all know I love spices, for the love of god don’t go mad on the nutmeg. These are called GINGERsnaps not holyshitI’mhallucinatingsnaps.

Lastly, add the flour and combine it all to form a stiff dough. Tip your boujee bitch vanilla sugar (or plain sugar, if you’re plain) into a shallow bowl and set yourself a dinky little assembly line from dough, to sugar, to baking sheet.

Using a small dough scoop (or a tablespoon), scoop the dough and form into balls (ha) then drop them into the sugar and roll to coat. Line them up on the baking tray, evenly spaced out (you’ll need to do a few batches if you only have one tray like poor, simple me).

Here’s the part where you pretend you’re on bake off and you sit in front of your oven because there is a PRECISE MOMENT that you’ll pull these buggers out. That moment is most likely somewhere between 10 and 12 minutes, where you’ll see the slightest browning on the edges (slight, chief) and the top of the cookies will start to crack. Pull them out and leave them on the tray for another 10 minutes to cool; they’ll continue cooking as they sit.

What you’ll end up with is a cookie that will make you feel things. Positive things? You tell me when you’re about five deep.

Jingle, munch, enjoy.